Chuvaness asks: What if you saw your ex?

I'm not sure I can legitimately answer this, but I had an ex-"love" anyway. And of course, I am talking about none other than the great #thewalls of Rafa.

I see him at random times and when it happens, I always get surprised to the point that my mind goes haywire. I cannot think of ways to handle the situation and I will always end up running towards the other direction, or pretending I didn't see him, or hiding. We did not break up, because there wasn't a relationship to break in the first place. He was, however, the greatest love of my life to date, and that is something that I cannot erase from myself no matter how hard I try. Seeing him reminds me of the joyous past, how things disintegrated, and how weirdly disconcerting it is, the way we act now as if we never knew each other (or worse: as if we had gone through the worst break-up ever). Those are probably the reasons why my mind goes nuts whenever I see him.

I'm not sure how I'd handle it if #thewalls suddenly surprises me with a visit. Or maybe I'd have the very same reaction Marina Abramovic had when she saw Ulay once more.


(learn a little bit about who Marina and Ulay were here)

My reactions on the video were:
1. The handsome guy at 0:50 (HELLO KUYA WHOEVER YOU ARE ANG GWAPO MO!!!)
2. OMG WAIT LANG!!! (When Ulay sat down in front of Marina)
3. HOSHIT! ;______; (When Marina opened her eyes, and a smile started creeping up her face)
4. ;___________________; (When Marina started tearing up)
5. ;___________________________; (When Marina reached out to Ulay)
6. /STABSSOMETHING (When Ulay left)

No words were said, but I felt the love they had for each other. I'm not sure what happened to them afterwards, if they ever got back together, or if they remained friends, but the 60 seconds I spent looking at their body languages, facial expressions, and the way their eyes spoke, made me wish that they get their respective happily ever afters, whether in each others' arms or not.

I hope I'll be as calm when a similar situations happens between me and #thewalls. I hope my mind will stop going haywire.

It has taken me years to realize it.

Sometimes, life pushes us at a certain crossroad where a decision has to be made. As whimsical human beings, most (if not all) of us ask life (or the universe) back for signs before we finally decide which road to take. But most of the time, we complain that life doesn't give us the sign/s, only to realize that all the signs are there, but we're just too stubborn to see it all.

Or maybe, that's just me?

Eventually, life's pushes will come to a shove, and a decision will eventually be made for us, and we will have no choice but to accept it. It might not be the decision we want for ourselves, but consolation rests in the fact that this decision is probably for the better. Then, we will move on. And then, we will forget.

Or maybe we can never forget at all. But we will definitely move on.

We just have to.

Who would've thought this is how the pieces fit...

Back in 2005, I was asked by my best friends, Ana, Zel, and Jen, what I wanted for my birthday. I wasn't able to give them an answer right away, though. So, I had the chance to confide to #thewalls, and asked for his recommendations. He told me that Nina was about to come out with a new album, and that I might want to ask for that.

I was (still am) a Nina fan (not sure, though, if #thewalls was aware of that when he gave his suggestion), so I thought his recommendation was a brilliant one. Fast forward to my birthday, I got this as a present from my three best buds.





Summer vacay started after my birthday, so this was on loop almost everyday. And that was also the start of the demise of my relationship with #thewalls. WAIT WHY AM I EVEN THINKING ABOUT THIS? /bricked

Ginny and I were at Starbucks yesterday, trying to write (at least she was trying to write, I was doing whatever), and Nina's live version of Love Moves in Mysterious Ways played in the background. I got transported back in time that when I went back home, I played the CD once more.

If you are curious, my favorite tracks are:

2. Love Moves in Mysterious Ways
5. Through The Fire
6. Fall For You
8. Cool With You
9. Constantly
11. Sunlight
13. Steep
14. I Love You Goodbye
15. Piano In The Dark

Nina is definitely one of the best singers in the country, don't you think? :)